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Kids ok with txting in skoolwork…OMG!

April 27, 2008 By Godfadr Leave a Comment

Teachers have been noticing an increased amount of school work being handed in with abbreviations that are commonly used when text messaging friends on the phone. Kids say it is “No big deal.” (Or would they say its “NBD?”) 

No big deal? Let’s see… 

Traditional written version…

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…” 

New text version… 

“OMG GT, OMG BD…” - (Oh my God, good times, oh my God, bad day).

Yea, that didn’t lose anything in translation – Good luck future generation of writers (I mean: GL FGW).

 

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Filed Under Culture, Humor Tagged With homework, Humor, satire, Schools, teachers, text messaging, writing skills

Wesley Snipes Should Have Sold Crack…

April 25, 2008 By Godfadr 3 Comments

Well, it is official. Wesley Snipes will be serving a three-year sentence for failure to file federal tax returns. He should have sold drugs; he would have been out sooner. 

Despite having a $5 million check in hand, the promise to repay his debt, and a parade of support from other actors, the judge handed him a significant sentence. 

Snipes made the comment “…Newly acquired wealth does not endow one with immediate wisdom, nor does it make one immune to a good hustle.”

I am not saying what he did was not wrong, and I doubt he was a victim of a sophisticated tax hustle.  I highly suspect he knew what he was doing, but come on — three years?! Just make him pay all the money back plus steep penalties, and save the cell for criminals more dangerous to society. 

Next time, Wesley, just do drugs (Tom Sizemore: 16 months) or run a dog fight (Michael Vick: 23 months). Sure, you will keep less money in your pocket, but you would be out on the street shooting Blade 9 or some other film. 

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Filed Under Rants Tagged With Humor, prison, satire, sentenced, taxes, Wesley Snipes

A Great Distraction! Rice Wars!

April 24, 2008 By Godfadr Leave a Comment

Costco and Sam’s are both beginning to limit the amount of rice that can be sold to any individual on a given day. Does this really affect most Americans?

I mean until Krispy Kreme and Burger King go healthy, sad to say, most Americans will never notice the difference.  No one has ever said, “Supersize my rice bowl” at McDonalds.

Of course it won’t matter if most people didn’t use much rice in the past, they will now want it. Now we have our own Rice Wars as people run out, hit multiple stores, and try to stock up. I suspect it will get much worse… 

Urban professionals taking their SUVs across the border and sneaking bags back into the US.

Old people being used as “mules” on flights into the US.

Kids trading each other at lunch — one pudding cup = 10 grains of brown rice. 

Dealers working the streets looking for people trying to score some high-grade yellow rice. 

Counterfeit rice hits the market. 

e-Bay turns into an online grocery business. 

People turn to salads. 

The catch: We don’t have a rice shortage here in the U.S. But, oh well, I guess if it keeps our attention away from terrorists, the election, the war, gas prices, foreclosures, impending meteors — than I guess we should all be for it. 

Just in case, I am heading to Costco to stock up on Basmati…I think people are going to be looking to score the good stuff.

 

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Filed Under Culture, Economy Tagged With Costco, Humor, Rice, Rice Limits, Rice Wars, Sam's Club, satire

Sen. Hillary Clinton and I both “Concede.”

April 23, 2008 By Godfadr 6 Comments

What happens when you “concede” a point?

Sen. Hillary Clinton has been saying for some time now she was “under sniper attack” while her helicopter was landing in Bosnia. 

Impressive. Heck even borderline heroic. But than again, it was a lie. 

It has been reported, despite all the talk about the attack, Senator Clinton has now “conceded” the point and was not really under a sniper attack. 

How does that work? When you “concede,” does it just go away? No one cares you said stuff that was never true? Any tactic you use to make yourself look better is OK? 

I could have used the “concede” tactic when I was a kid. 

“I concede, I took the cookie.”

“I concede, I hit my sister.”

“I concede, I broke the lamp.”

“I concede, my homework was not destroyed in an elaborate terrorist attack.” 

But why limit such an innovative use of the English language to children and politicians? Adults, from all walks of life, could benefit from this fancy “no repercussions” response.

“I concede, I was speeding.”

“I concede, I took company money for personal use.”

“I concede, I spent all my money on gambling and drugs.”

“I concede that is not really my wife.”

“I concede I appropriated my neighbor’s power tools.” 

Here is how to fix this behavior… 

Stop lying. Period. 

You don’t need to sensationalize your actions. Either you did something or you didn’t. I was impressed enough Sen. John Kerry served in Vietnam — he didn’t have to be a hero. He served and I respect him for that (perhaps not enough for my vote).

I was impressed enough, as first lady, Hillary Clinton went to Bosnia — she didn’t have to say they were under sniper fire. Just say what happened and leave the embellishment to Hollywood.

Lastly, if I made too many grammar errors or misspellings in this entry… “I concede.”

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Filed Under Culture, Pride Tagged With Bosnia, Concede, Election, Hillary Clinton, Humor, John Kerry, Lie, Obama, politicians, satire, Sniper, Sniper attack, Tell the Truth

Yes Virginia, there are winners and losers…

April 19, 2008 By Godfadr Leave a Comment

When I was in sixth grade I lost both a spelling competition and a sport competition. It pretty much meant that I was not a top student intellectually or physically. The spelling competition was your run of the mill type — I couldn’t spell “equalize,” so I was out. The sport competition was the then coveted Presidential Physical Fitness Test where you accumulate points. I did “pass” the test, but not at the highest level possible (damn pull ups).

When I was a kid, there were winners and losers. There were people who were not picked quickly for a game of pickup football (some of us were never really “picked” at all — just the last one standing). Although our feelings may have been hurt, these experiences still manifested real life — yes, Virginia, there are losers. The losers either tried harder or found something they were good at. In any case, we all turned out OK .

Today, of course, is much different. We all get to be winners. There are no losers, no second place, no runners-up, no chance for anyone’s precious developing ego to be crushed by mean-spirited adults and peers. [Read more...]

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Filed Under Rants Tagged With competition, education, Humor, Losers, No child left behind, satire, Schools, Self Esteem, Winners

Stop the “Bleeding!”

April 18, 2008 By Godfadr 3 Comments

This blog starts today. Perhaps I was bored, or perhaps I just reached the end of my sociological rope. 

It seems that I can’t read the newspaper or turn on the TV without being inundated with seemingly stupid decisions that are slowly destroying our country. I wonder if these decisions are completely random or if they are simply the result of someone’s sinister plan (don’t worry, this is not a blog pertaining to “conspiracy theory” so I don’t really believe the latter).

I do believe, however, that in our efforts to be “politically correct,” make sure all our kids are “winners,” and protect everyone’s “precious egos,”  we are slowly evolving into a society that lacks basic freedoms and basic free thinkers. 

I encourage your comments, whether you agree or not. True communication is really our only weapon in a fight to maintain our individuality for generations to come. 

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Filed Under Culture, Economy, Pride Tagged With Government, Humor, politically correct, Politics, satire, society
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