One of the more difficult categories on The Slow Bleed Web site, “Culture” has been defined as “the customary beliefs, social forms, and material traits of a racial, religious, or social group.” 

People should have the right to practice the beliefs, etc. associated with their individual cultures. 

Unfortunately, many people believe they have right to practice their own beliefs but don’t have to allow others the same right. Sure, there are fancy words for that type of behavior, but let’s just call it hypocritical.

For a society to function and grow, it is essential that we bring ideas from different individuals and cultures. However, the reverse seems to be happening.

The destruction of individual cultures falls mainly under the guise of “political correctness,” and frankly, some people are just too damn sensitive.  

For example, I am not Jewish. I have never been offended by someone who places a Menorah (I hope I spelled that right) in his or her window. Conversely, I would hope that someone who is Jewish is not upset by a Christmas tree in someone’s front room. 

But in the name of political correctness, an individual can step forward and “feel” offended, not by someone slandering their opinions but simply by someone practicing something different from him or her. 

Come on, are you really personally offended that some churches have a Nativity scene during the holidays? (I meant Christmas — see, I just did it). Just go build your own scene reflective of your religion — whatever it may be. 

As long as one’s actions do not harm someone else, who cares? Well, apparently a lot of people do. It seems there is always some group boycotting or protesting anything another culture does. 

Christmas Break (some people who don’t celebrate “Christmas” were offended) became Holiday Break (some people don’t celebrate Holidays), so it then became Winter Break (I’m just waiting for Summer or Fall to get upset). 

So, what am I going to do with this category? Use it as examples of what I call “clash of cultures” or instances where we are just going too far in our political correctness. 

Feel free to share your favorites!

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OK, you are graduating, and you want to know what is out there for you. 

Well, if you are like most people I meet nowadays; you feel you deserve the corner office suite right out of the gate! And who is to stop you? 

I am sure the millions of hours you have accumulated in online gaming, binge drinking, and procrastination 101 are bound to get you into the top firms in the nation. 

Just in case, you might want a backup plan that does not include moving back in with your parents (as a parent I am allowed to say that). 

So what is probably going to be hot in a failing economy?

• Work in a bar — great cash to be made as people drown their sorrows in beverages. 

• Work at the unemployment office — seems odd working in a place like that, but they may be hiring with more and more people out of work. 

• Work at WalMart — they will probably take over the world one day. I wonder if they sell oil? 

• Work at a drugstore — no, not for the reason you may think. People are going to need a lot more aspirin and hemorrhoid cream in the coming months. 

• Write a blog — create your own blog that thousands of people visit every day to hear your warped views on news, our country, and the world. Better yet, just keep up the good work sending them to theslowbleed.com. 

What jobs do you think new graduates should be looking for? 

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I guess it has been awhile since Vanity Fair has raised a few eyebrows with some controversial photos, but Miley Cyrus (Hannah Montana) certainly helped that situation.

Of course, Cyrus is apologizing about the photo shoot now, saying it was meant to be “artistic” and she “never intended for any of this to happen.” 

I wanted to see what all the fuss was about, so I got a hold of the picture (which was really easy since it seems to be all the news right now).

Here is what I think… 

Do I think the photos are over the top? Perhaps. I think her publicist or agent should have questioned whether Vanity should run with those photos. Do these help her career right now? Probably not. Does the general public have something better to talk about right now? Apparently not. 

As for the photos being “sexy” versus “artistic,” well, I suspect that depends on what you, the viewer, interprets in the photos. You either see a young girl in an artistic photo or you see, well, something else. I highly suspect, given the overreaction of society today, even Anne Geddes photos will come under fire someday (you remember, the photographer that took pictures of baby’s). 

Frankly, I thought the Vanity photos were OK (and understand, as a father of a daughter, I am very sensitive to this). I am still creeped out by people that put makeup on toddlers, dress them up, and parade them around. If you try to make a toddler look like a prostit-tot, you can’t be surprised at some tragic outcome. Miley does not fall into this category. 

Do I think she should have waited a few more years? Yes. Do I think she made a huge mistake in taking these “artistic” photos? No. She may have done harm to her career, perhaps (and she can always stick to singing). 

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Apparently the idea of lowering taxes has escaped Mayor Gonzola Navarette Munuz who will have physician’s hand out Viagra to older patients that request the pill. It is also no coincidence elections are coming soon, and Mayor Navarette is hoping for another term.

Whether this move is enough to get him re-elected remains to be seen. The response to the Mayor’s new plan in Chile has been favorable among older men, not so much among the women. 

But what about here in the states? 

Perhaps Chile is ahead of the curve and we can look forward to new campaign tactics here in the US before November. Both camps could consider the following to gain American votes… 

• Free Krispy Kreme Mondays 

• A new episode of American Idol each night 

• A new Ford “Earth Destroyer 2009” in every garage 

• Unlimited “nights” and “weekends” for NY state senators 

• Force McDonalds to bring back the “Supersize” menu 

• Nationwide ban on anything associated with Paris Hilton 

Nevermind…we probably have a better chance getting Viagra.

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I am over it. Actually I was over it about one and a half episodes after it started.

There is nothing productive (or entertaining) about reality shows. I get enough “reality” in REAL life…I don’t need to watch it on TV as well. I want written-for-me comedy and drama — is that too much to ask? Here is what I don’t want…

I don’t need to see people thrown together in a house to see who cracks first. For that I need only have my family over for the holidays. 

I don’t need to see the super-real-housewives of the hills. For that I can go by Starbucks in the middle of a workday. 

I don’t need to see people lose weight, eat bugs, or try and destroy someone else for ratings. 

I don’t need to see insecure, 15-minutes-of-fame people cutting themselves up in an effort to “improve” their natural beauty. Stop buying magazines with supermodels on the cover, and you will probably be fine.

I don’t care about Britney, who she is married to, or her kids. 

Nor am I concerned with Paris Hilton’s latest “movie” or Ashley Spears being a mother, grandmother, or uncle. And please, don’t show me another small dog in a purse. 

I don’t care who is dating a quarterback, being seen in a club together with who-cares-who, or breaking up with the most recent hanger-on via text messaging on the latest diamond encrusted hot cell phone. 

Dear TV producers, do you actually watch any of this stuff? Just give me some thoughtful, witty shows that were created with anything but reality in mind.

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The federal court ruled today that the Bush administration must decide by mid-May whether polar bears deserve protection. This is being billed as a “huge victory” for the polar bear. 

Not exactly sure what kind of protection they are looking for… 

Better health care? 

To be a continued force in the “bear” market? 

Or do they need “protection” in the sense that they are being bullied for lunch money? 

Having read too many Far Side cartoons in the past, I find it difficult not to manifest a twisted opinion of bears in general (thanks, Gary). Sure, go ahead and try not to think about the one with the igloo. 

Whatever the case, I sure hope they get this resolved soon. Of all the news I could have found today…and this showed up on the TOP of a random news search. 

I knew all along that environmentalists controlled the Internet. 

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Voter apathy amazes me. Although it seems to mostly apply to political issues since the last episode of American Idol had 63 million votes (granted some people probably voted more than once) and “Evolution of Dance” on YouTube has been viewed over 82 million times.

I think we just need shows like Presidential Idol. With only slight modifications to their song and dance, candidates could now attract young voters with their hip music videos. Better yet, throw them all in the Big Senator House – make them live together for 12 months and video tape everything. The candidate with the best ratings and viewer votes wins. 

Any significant bill or law could be decided by Survivor Law – Island of No Return. The legislations proponent would be put on an island with someone who opposes the law. There they can compete to see if the law passes or not. Only one person returns from the island, so I highly suspect term limits will take care of themselves.

In all seriousness (too late) some people feel they can’t make a change. Of course, how much of a change can you make when you don’t even try? Heck, why get up in the morning; you are just going to go back to bed. 

Just two rules so people feel they can have an affect in the voting process…

1. Why campaign on the west coast at all? Most of the Presidential races are decided long before they close the polls on the west coast. Just a good excuse to get off work early and say you are “going to vote” but stop off at the local pub instead to complain you have no say in anything.  (Rule One: don’t announce the winner until ALL polls have closed).

2. No one likes standing in line to vote. You think standing in line for a job is easier? What about standing in line for medical care? Hell, what about standing in line for Food?! (Rule Two: Until they come up with an easier way for us to vote…stand in line!). 

Just in case someone really high up in this country reads this and does create Presidential Idol; please don’t vote for anyone with funny hair. 

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Teachers have been noticing an increased amount of school work being handed in with abbreviations that are commonly used when text messaging friends on the phone. Kids say it is “No big deal.” (Or would they say its “NBD?”) 

No big deal? Let’s see… 

Traditional written version…

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…” 

New text version… 

“OMG GT, OMG BD…” - (Oh my God, good times, oh my God, bad day).

Yea, that didn’t lose anything in translation – Good luck future generation of writers (I mean: GL FGW).

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Well, it is official. Wesley Snipes will be serving a three-year sentence for failure to file federal tax returns. He should have sold drugs; he would have been out sooner. 

Despite having a $5 million check in hand, the promise to repay his debt, and a parade of support from other actors, the judge handed him a significant sentence. 

Snipes made the comment “…Newly acquired wealth does not endow one with immediate wisdom, nor does it make one immune to a good hustle.”

I am not saying what he did was not wrong, and I doubt he was a victim of a sophisticated tax hustle.  I highly suspect he knew what he was doing, but come on — three years?! Just make him pay all the money back plus steep penalties, and save the cell for criminals more dangerous to society. 

Next time, Wesley, just do drugs (Tom Sizemore: 16 months) or run a dog fight (Michael Vick: 23 months). Sure, you will keep less money in your pocket, but you would be out on the street shooting Blade 9 or some other film. 

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Costco and Sam’s are both beginning to limit the amount of rice that can be sold to any individual on a given day. Does this really affect most Americans?

I mean until Krispy Kreme and Burger King go healthy, sad to say, most Americans will never notice the difference.  No one has ever said, “Supersize my rice bowl” at McDonalds.

Of course it won’t matter if most people didn’t use much rice in the past, they will now want it. Now we have our own Rice Wars as people run out, hit multiple stores, and try to stock up. I suspect it will get much worse… 

Urban professionals taking their SUVs across the border and sneaking bags back into the US.

Old people being used as “mules” on flights into the US.

Kids trading each other at lunch — one pudding cup = 10 grains of brown rice. 

Dealers working the streets looking for people trying to score some high-grade yellow rice. 

Counterfeit rice hits the market. 

e-Bay turns into an online grocery business. 

People turn to salads. 

The catch: We don’t have a rice shortage here in the U.S. But, oh well, I guess if it keeps our attention away from terrorists, the election, the war, gas prices, foreclosures, impending meteors — than I guess we should all be for it. 

Just in case, I am heading to Costco to stock up on Basmati…I think people are going to be looking to score the good stuff.

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