Ok, I’m 44, Where the Hell Are My Superpowers?
April 22, 2010 3 Comments
Art by Jeff Durham...Go visit his site already!
I am confused (no, that is not my superpower). When I was a kid I was led to believe that… A) You can be whatever want when you grow up and…B) There were a lot of super heroes out there.
There are two types of super heroes…
Those that are born with superheroness (is that even word?) and those people that get superpowers later in life (usually due to some family tragedy or falling into a vat of nuclear waste).
Not opting for falling into a vat of nuclear waste (not sure where I would find one anyway), I think I am of the group that is suppose to “grow” into some sort of awe inspiring power. Helllooooo?! Is this thing on? I even have the spandex suit ready to go (don’t ask).
Well, nothing yet and I am wondering how long I am suppose to wait?
I am not complaining, but I’m not getting any younger. I need to be young enough to stay up late fighting crime, possess dashing looks to appear in photo shoots with the mayor, and the wit to come up with snappy lines for catching bad guys.
I suppose I could be some sort of hip “old” superhero – maybe protecting the front door at Wal-Mart while simultaneously working as a greeter. (I have seen those people – pretty sure that no one would ever suspect them of being superheroes).
Mmmmm, maybe I was meant to be a villain…
IF you had a superpower…what would it be?
.
Where is my Ferrari and Job in Hawaii?
March 11, 2010 1 Comment
I found a journal the other day. Mostly pointless ramblings by a much younger version of me, but there were certainly some clear “items” that I should have experienced by now.
For starters, I was supposed to be enjoying a lucrative private detective career on Oahu Island; driving around a Ferrari and living life with my friend who flies helicopters for a living.
Clearly that one did not pan out somehow.
My second career was as a Hollywood stunt man by day and bounty hunter by night.
Never happened.
Matter of fact, I never owned a black Pontiac Trans Am that spoke to me, never captured bad guys on the streets of NY, never solved medical dilemmas in under an hour, and I never battled siblings over the direction and control of my family empire.
Man, have I got some catching up to do. Anybody else missing something?
Fifty Years of Math 1959 – 2009 (in the USA )
November 10, 2009 4 Comments
Not sure where this came from, but it cracks me up for some, sad, reason…
Fifty Years of Math 1959 – 2009 (in the USA )
Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her.. She stood there , holding the nickel and 3 pennies , while looking at the screen on her register.
I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters , but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her , she stood there and cried. Why do I tell you this? Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s:
1. Teaching Math In 1950s [Read more...]
The Demise of Victoria’s Secret
October 31, 2009 7 Comments
I used to like Victoria’s Secret. It was the perfect place to find a great gift for my wife for Christmas, Anniversary, or just because I did something stupid and needed to make up for it.
I suspect a trip to Victoria’s Secret is much different for men then it is for women. I am not sure what women are looking for but I do know what men are looking for: Less is More.
Years ago, my first trip to buy something for my wife lead to a very displeased shop attendant. In my defense, I don’t think it was my fault. [Read more...]
Cleaning Elves on “90-Day” Notice
June 29, 2009 Leave a Comment
As I meandered around the house this morning picking up various items left behind by my daughter I realized the cleaning elves are now on notice.
Not by choice mind you, she is going away to college. In addition to all the social aspects she will now learn, she will have to deal with the cleaning elves not making the trip with her and the oddity of items left about will actually remain there until dealt with personally.
We have all been the cleaning elf (or should have been) and, at some point of our life, received the benefit of a cleaning elf. Frankly, I miss them.
Cleaning elves follow closely behind you, but not so close as to be seen, recognized, or appreciated. [Read more...]
BBQ Is No Joke…ok, it is.
June 4, 2009 4 Comments
Funny? Yes. Sexist? Probably a bit…but still funny.
We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion: [Read more...]
Fine, I suppose this is where you look for some witty insights to my mind. A "bio" of sorts. Here is the deal... I ride motorcycles, smoke cigars, golf, kayak, fly, race my car through the mountains, write (a lot), and travel extensively. I am almost old enough not to care what other people think about me...almost. ~Godfadr
Recent Comments