Obama Names Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State?

UPDATED (See Below)…I highly suspect the Obama news conference scheduled for Monday, December 1st, at 10:40am (EST) will be Obama’s naming Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State.

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Hillary Applies For 3 am Shift at White House…

Before I look up Hillary Clinton’s SAT scores (I am most interested in her Math scores) I have got to wonder what keeps her in the race. I say “race,” but it has long since been over between her and Obama.

So, why is she hanging around long after the (Democratic) party has left the ball?

1. Continue to spend a whole lot of money on the campaign (it will stimulate the economy!)

2. Set herself up for her new show, America’s Next Top Senator

3. Staying on the road because Chelsea has never gotten so much attention.

4. She hopes to get the job answering phones at the White House (I understand the 3:00am shift is her first choice).

5. Her bowling average is improving.

6. Her campaigning keeps Bill from having “free time.”

7. She is banking on the final state to pull her through- the great state of “denial.”

*Added – it occurred to me after I wrote this post. I wonder if she will be like the stapler guy in the Office (movie) and still be campaigning 10 months from now).

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Hillary Clinton Looking for More Money?! Check Under the Cushions!

Mrs. Clinton is going to have to look under a lot of couch cushions and car seats in the next several weeks after a narrow win in Indiana and a significant loss in North Carolina.

Clinton “loaned” her own campaign $6.4 million last month and is looking for help.

What exactly does that mean “loaned” her own campaign? If she wins do “we” pay her back? Is it like Monopoly in that she is hoping to hit Free Parking and get the motherload of payoffs? Is she buying Powerball tickets?

Hillary has vowed to keep “campaigning till the end” but needs her supporters to donate her more money – apparently those “3 am” advertisements cost a lot.

If someone “donates” to her campaign is it just a “loan” that she will pay back? What do you get for that money?

So, anyone getting out his or her checkbook? I think I will wait for some discount coupons (well that, and another candidate). 

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Hillary Clinton’s Horse Race…

Ok, I guess it has to be said, before I move forward, that what happened to Eight Belles in the Kentucky Derby is nothing short of a tragedy. After taking second place the filly broke two ankles and had to be put down. 

So, whom were the candidates betting would win? 

Hillary Clinton was adamantly showing sisterhood with the filly – giving her daughter “strict instructions” to bet on Eight Belles

Obama picked Big Brown to show…he came in first. 

I don’t think I could make this stuff up if I tried…

 

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Sen. Hillary Clinton and I both “Concede.”

What happens when you “concede” a point?

Sen. Hillary Clinton has been saying for some time now she was “under sniper attack” while her helicopter was landing in Bosnia. 

Impressive. Heck even borderline heroic. But than again, it was a lie. 

It has been reported, despite all the talk about the attack, Senator Clinton has now “conceded” the point and was not really under a sniper attack. 

How does that work? When you “concede,” does it just go away? No one cares you said stuff that was never true? Any tactic you use to make yourself look better is OK? 

I could have used the “concede” tactic when I was a kid. 

“I concede, I took the cookie.”

“I concede, I hit my sister.”

“I concede, I broke the lamp.”

“I concede, my homework was not destroyed in an elaborate terrorist attack.” 

But why limit such an innovative use of the English language to children and politicians? Adults, from all walks of life, could benefit from this fancy “no repercussions” response.

“I concede, I was speeding.”

“I concede, I took company money for personal use.”

“I concede, I spent all my money on gambling and drugs.”

“I concede that is not really my wife.”

“I concede I appropriated my neighbor’s power tools.” 

Here is how to fix this behavior… 

Stop lying. Period. 

You don’t need to sensationalize your actions. Either you did something or you didn’t. I was impressed enough Sen. John Kerry served in Vietnam — he didn’t have to be a hero. He served and I respect him for that (perhaps not enough for my vote).

I was impressed enough, as first lady, Hillary Clinton went to Bosnia — she didn’t have to say they were under sniper fire. Just say what happened and leave the embellishment to Hollywood.

Lastly, if I made too many grammar errors or misspellings in this entry… “I concede.”

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