I Raised the Deficit, Now Where are the Elephants and Strippers?

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There is a whole lot of back-patting, ass-slapping, high-fiving going on in Washington, DC right now.

Wow, really?

You did your job (and awfully late I may add) and you want praise for that? Come on, I paid my bills this month as well and I don’t see anyone knocking on my door planning a ticker tape parade full of elephants and strippers*.

First off, the only thing raising the deficit does is agree to pay for stuff you already spent money on.

Let me clarify that again for those in Washington that have a second to stop poking each other on their Facebook accounts and learn something.

The money has already been spent. The reason the default was so potentially dangerous is that you already spent the money. Pretty sure the American people don’t have the ability to raise their credit card limit AFTER the fact.

So, now what?

1. After careful consideration, your mom and I have talked…we are taking away your allowance.

2. Since you obviously can’t get along with each other, we are adding “Does not play well with others” on your report cards.

3. Most of you simply talk too much without any action to get things done. Your new jobs are ready, just practice this line, “For here or to go?”

4. We have employed a group of fourth graders to take your place. The decisions will be just as competent and they are willing to work for a juice box and a couple Oreos.

Walking around praising your “cooperative” actions is nothing short of embarrassing. You proved to the American public that you can not put the needs of the country ahead of your own. There was more jockeying for position than the Kentucky Derby – and a hundred times more manure.

*Fine Print: I can’t say for certain that tax payer money has actually PAID for a ticker tape parade with elephants and strippers…but I would not be surprised.

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