Is That a Monkey In Your Pocket?

Belt Made of Live Monkeys? WTF?

Mexico arrests man with 18 monkeys around his waist? I have heard a lot of different things being smuggled…but monkeys?

Roberto Sol Cabrera, a Mexican citizen, was stopped at a random check at Mexico City’s international airport after arriving from Lima.

In a statement, police said Mr Cabrera Zavaleta had been behaving “nervously”.

Once he was searched, it was discovered that he had hidden 18 titi monkeys in a girdle around his waist.

After his arrest, Mr Sol Cabrera confessed that the animals had travelled in his luggage, and that he had put them under his clothing “to protect them from X-rays” as he was going through customs.

You just can’t make this stuff up…read the whole story here (not that there is much more to say).

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Monday Quote #86

Dear Monday, keep moving, the restraining order is in effect.

For a complete list of Godfadr’s status updates, go here.

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Best Seat Belt Advertisement Ever!

Great Video. Probably the best seat belt advertisement ever created.

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Monday Quote #29

Oh Monday. You are kind of like the fat kid from elementary school you never wanted on the other Red Rover team. – Fred Rewey

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The Cyber Cyrano

It really was only a matter of time for online dating to be offered the services of the legendary Cyrano.

Why write your own lame online dating profile when a modern-day cupid can transform your life into something extraordinary and date worthy?

Of course, this trend does not need to stop with someone writing your profile or answering your emails in a wittier-than-you-tone.

Why not have someone fill in for the first couple dates?

Let’s face it. The first couple dates can be awkward. The pressure of where to go, what to do, the first kiss, the first time you – well, you know. Heck with that, send a stand-in.

The stand-in would then report back how it all went. Kind like a modern day The Truth About Cats & Dogs.

The stand-in would look like you (only better)

They would act like you (only smarter)

They would make promises you can’t live up to (but then again, you would have as well).

Heck, maybe you could even skip the whole courtship all-together and just “meet” on your wedding day. Wait, maybe the stand-ins get married so you don’t have to ever miss a poker night or book club meetings….

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BP Offshore Oil Strike Game from 1970

Funny that the BP Offshore Oil Strike game never really made it to the United States – well, at least in game form.

Two to Four Players compete at exploring for oil and building platforms. Players must avoid the “hazard cards” which read such set-backs as, “Blow-out! Rig Damaged,” and “Oil Clean Up Cost. Pay $1 Million.”

$1 Million? BP wishes it was only that much.

The rest of the info on the game is even more sketchy than the actual disaster. Supposedly endorsed by BP and other oil companies the game was produced around 1970 with little sales (wow, there is a surprise).

I suspect this game will now emerge from dark closets across Europe and start selling on eBay along with Connect Four Hurricanes and Chutes and Failed Car Companies.

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Major League Eating Scandal?

Ok, I am confused. There is actually a Major League Eating (MLE) organization? Furthermore, their prize eater – Kobayashi – was just arrested at an eating event?

I had to find out more…

The reason “why” he was arrested ended up being pretty boring (essentially he got on stage at an event he was not “authorized” by the MLE to enter). Boring!

So, I am going to have to embellish the situation a bit more.

“Kobayashi Arrested for Stuffing his Pants with Hot Dogs”

No, that won’t work…

“Kobayashi Arrested for Stomach Replacement Surgery.”

oooh, that might work…

News Wire: In a time where baseball players and cyclists are shooting performance drugs, the last thing a major* sport needed was another fallen sports hero.

*It has to be “major” it is in their title.

In a bazaar turn of events a French doctor has stepped forward to reveal that he did stomach replacement surgery on nine of the worlds top eaters.

Each of the individual stomachs was replaced with the popular Peruvian cow stomach (known for the ability to eat large quantities of hot dogs, donuts, and pie in single sitting).

The investigation is ongoing but apparently the Golden Coral All-You-Can-Eat Buffet is looking into scanners to be placed at the doors to determine if someone enters with this rare, but costly, stomach.

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