To (finally) end the long-time debate, scientists meeting this month have agreed on what killed the dinosaurs. Before agreeing on the evidence, the scientific community was split between seven sound theories…
• Smoking
• Any Film with Paris Hilton
• Natural Tofu
• Hostess Snowballs
• Meteor Collision
• Cheese from a Can
• Silly String in Eyes
In the end, scientist agreed the “Meteor Collision” had the soundest evidence; sighting the massive asteroid or comet smashing into Earth at Chicxulub on Mexico’s Yucatan Peninsula.
The decision to back the comet theory was not unanimous.
Both Darrel Milski and Buck Jopinvich, students from University of Wisconsin, stuck by their claim that “cheese from a can” was the ultimate death of the dominating beasts.
Fine, I suppose this is where you look for some witty insights to my mind. A "bio" of sorts. Here is the deal... I ride motorcycles, smoke cigars, golf, kayak, fly, race my car through the mountains, write (a lot), and travel extensively. I am almost old enough not to care what other people think about me...almost. ~Godfadr
1. Smoking (odds set at 32.6%) – Very few of the dinosaurs were able to get the cigarettes into their mouth, much less light up. Some T-Rex’s were afforded the convenience of the buddy system and had the cigarette put into their mouths and lit up after junior high basketball practice. Even given teh consideration fo secondhand smoke, the practice wasn’t prevalent enough to kill them all off..just a few who were in the wrong HMO to get teh proper diagnosis and the oxygen tank to carry around.
2. Any film with Paris Hilton (odds at 46.2%)- Clearly her idiocy transgresses not merely generations but era-crossing brain melting abilities.
3. Natural Tofu- (odds at 62.7%) Clearly anyone, including the famed Stegosaurus, on this diet would starve to death in favor of subjecting themselves to this.
4. Hostess snowballs- (odds at 62.7%) see tofu reasoning
5. Meteor collision (odds at 1.3%) – clearly a fallacy, we hadn’t invented the idea of meteorites yet. We were still only discovering fire, and merely by accident as a Pterodactyl had recently picked up the really spicy buffalo wings at a local Hooters and flew by the cavemen, letting out a flaming burp.
6. Cheese in a can (odds at 27.3%)- while laden with chemicals, this was a much better alternative to the tofu and snowballs…but more than likely it wasn’t the cheese so much as it was the huffing that sent these beasts over the edge to extinction.
7. Silly String in the eyes (odds at 45.6%) – silly string really is a m’er-f’er, especially in the eyes….if the huffing didn’t get them, the string in the eyes had a good chance. And shooting each other with silly string can be addicitive entertainment. Soner or later they all run off teh cliffs like a bunch of lemmings trying to get away, while being blided by the confectionary goo in their eyes..