I think I have to turn my wife in. I am puzzled about what action to take or even what entity I am suppose to report her actions to. You see my cereal has been replaced.
I am a sucker for sugar cereals. Not just for breakfast, they make an excellent afternoon snack. Lucky Charms is a good stand by. As is Captain Crunch. I have to give the edge to Lucky Charms because you can have three times as many bowls before you destroy the roof of your mouth (Captain Crunch is a killer in that department).
You normally wouldn’t think much of it if someone had replaced your cereal with a slightly healthier cereal; you know, something with bark, twigs, and berries. But that is not the case here.
We typically keep the sugar cereal in a big Tupperware bin. Ok, not really “big,” it is about twice the size of a cereal box. Yesterday I poured a bowl of what I assumed to be Lucky Charms.
The moment the first bit hit the tongue I knew something was amiss. Not in a bad milk or stale cereal sort of way, with those things you can make an immediate assessment to continue on or not. No, this was something “wrong” with the cereal. The marshmallows did not have the same sugary bite. The non-marshmallow part of the cereal (we will just call it useless “filling”) also tasted a bit off.
Since there was no box around I had to address the issue with her face-to-face. Apparently, times are tough. Secondary “off brand” cereals are much cheaper…you can practically “buy twice as much.” I heard the words but they were falling short. Apparent ramblings of someone who clearly had no clue as to the integrity of sugar cereals or the loyalty that goes with them. They all had been replaced…
Lucky Charms had been replaced by Rucky Marms
Captain Crunch had been replaced by Flight Attendant Crackle
Fruit Loops had been replaced by Tropical Figure Eights
Sugar Smacks had been replaced by Sweetened Butterfly Kisses
Frosted Flakes had been replaced by Ice Igloos
This type of behavior is simply not acceptable. Hopefully, when she gets around to reading my blogs she will find this and realize the error of her ways.
She is a great person. Sure she is my best friend. Sure we have years of history together; but I now understand how the “friends and neighbors” never see cereal killers like this coming – it is always the nice, unassuming people that surprise you.
****Godfather Update 12/22/08****
As you can see by the photo, the situation has been, for the time being, resolved. The Godfather personally visited the store to acquire a stockpile (ok a weeks worth) of “Godfather Approved” cereals.
This was no small step. It required hitting the $1.99 sale and maneuvering a faulty DOT cart throughout the store. Did you know they sell other foods in the store as well? I could have been easily distracted, and certainly a lesser man would have, but I succeeded in my mission.
Now, if I could just find out where milk comes from…
Fine, I suppose this is where you look for some witty insights to my mind. A "bio" of sorts. Here is the deal... I ride motorcycles, smoke cigars, golf, kayak, fly, race my car through the mountains, write (a lot), and travel extensively. I am almost old enough not to care what other people think about me...almost. ~Godfadr
Take her to Kellogg Kourt. She won’t have a leg to stand on.
As a fellow sugary cereal fan, I feel your pain. No Marshmallow Matey’s could ever replace Lucky Charms.
I confess to being guilty as charged. I hereby relinquish all grocery shopping duties to my husband, the cereal deprived Godfather. This is part of my therapy as prescribed by my defense team.
The Real Cereal Killer
Whoa Whoa Whoa….wife or no wife, The Godfather has been disrespected in his own house…..
The therapy recommended by me (I’m not a real doctor, but I play one on the internet) is advanced participation buying therapy. Godfather, your Honor, Ladies and Gentleman of the Jury, esteemed visitors…It is this doctor’s opinion that the Cereal Killer be remanded to the custody of the Cereal Aisle, ONLY in the brand name section. All Boxes, no bags. If the cereal doesn’t advertise on TV, it gets no play!!!
I echo Mrs. Godfather’s decision. The Godfather will now be responsible for all the grocery shopping so no more errors will occur. OH and he better damned well get the laundry supplies right or he may not like how his clothes turn out…………LOL
Dr. Mike? Ummmmmmm………………………I’m calling your wife and recommending some serious therapy for you……………..ROFLMAO
Lynda that is way too great a punishment for me. You can’t punish the VICTIM!
Besides I do my OWN laundry so there has to be some credit for that in the mix!
You do your own laundry and get second rate cereal?!
Great, care to come over and do mine? I’m looking for a good launderer…………….ROFLMAO
On second thought, better not, you might not like the terms…………..OR you might but your wife would send hit-men after me………………LOL Then again she might actually like MY way of having things done and then you’d really be in trouble…………..ROFLMAO
Lynda-
“Dr. Mike? Ummmmmmm………………………I’m calling your wife and recommending some serious therapy for you”
Like THAT would work!! My parents tried that once……one therapist quit his profession 2 sessions in, another barely listened, mostly talked and sent me out with a prescrip for some prozac…..only the third one succeeded, but being 60+ and riding around in a convertible and playing like a kid, might cause questions of real credibility…..besides, therapy costs money, and I control the money. Therapy being a waste of time causes it to be seen as a waste of money….so do yourself a favor…..go get on something hallucinatory and then maybe you’ll “get” me!! LOL
Your problem here Mike is that you are NOT thinking outside the box. You just ASSUME I mean therapy in the average normal boring sense…………….silly boy………….LOL
OK you guys, don’t make my pull this blog over!
If you go back to the post you will find an status report at the bottom!
Godfather, you really DON’T want to know where milk comes from…………..and more importantly what exactly is in it…………..LOL
Glad you managed to stay strong in the store, yes it is amazing all they sell there!
they sell other stuff at the store besides cereal??? Since when….I grab the cart, I head right into aisle 3 and there is a long line of nothing but cereal..when I turn around, there is the checkout line….where do they keep this “other stuff”??
Aisles 1 and 2; and 4 thru 20; not to mention all around the perimeter (well 3 sides anyway as the checkout occupies the front………..LOL
I have tears in my eyes. I don’t know where you come up with this stuff but keep it coming!
I’m ashamed to admit I’m so far behind in catching up on this blog. I too have fallen prey to “Substitute Cereal” Mine though is Honey Nut Cheerio’s which somehow have managed to be not quite so poorly duplicated.
I did reminice about the Captain Crunch roof in the mouth pain……so true