Top Ten Tebow Comments from Jesus

A recent poll indicated that as much as 43% of the people interviewed felt Tebow’s success with the Denver Broncos was due to “Divine Intervention.” I suppose that will be the same percentage of people I will piss off with these blasphemous comments I made up.

IF Jesus was to speak with Tebow the next day after the playoff loss, here are my top ten things I think he might say…

10. Stepped out for a couple days, did I miss anything?

9. What? The game was on Sunday? My bad.

8.  Ooops, Saturday night I was watching FireFly reruns. Man they cancelled that show too soon.

7. Dang, I wasted the entire second half waiting in line for a pretzel.

6. Dude, I thought you had this covered!

5. WTF? Like home field advantage would have made a difference?

4. Seriously, the next thing you will want me to do is actually play for you.

3. Sheesh, it was a loss, don’t go all Charlie Sheen on me.

2. Sorry man, I am a Packer Fan. 

1. Really Tebow, did you not think I had something better to do?

 

Feel Free to Add Your Own in the Comments!

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Best Response to Debt Ceiling

Here’s another way to look at the Debt Ceiling:

Let’s say, You come home from work and find there has been a sewer
backup in your neighborhood….and your home has sewage all the way up to your ceilings.

What do you think you should do ……

Raise the ceilings, or pump out the crap?

Best Response……came from Jerry L. (Dallas, Tx)

“How bout we kick the $#@% out of the guy who broke sewage line.”

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Time Names “The Protester” as Person of the Year

Time magazine has named “The Protester” as Person of the Year for 2011.

Before someone drops a Cappuccino on Wall Street and starts celebrating, no, they are not talking about you. Occupy Wall Street and the Tea Party are not in the same category…sorry.

If Time was forced to pick the US equivalent of the international protesters, they might have skipped this year.

Course IF Time was talking about the Occupy Wall Street movement I suspect they would all pack up their bags, declare a moral victory, and head over to some big box store to celebrate (I mean you can only avoid evil corporations for so long…until you want something…like food or clothing).

Anyway, well done Time. For awhile there I thought you were going to pick the cast of Jersey Shores or Charlie Sheen.

You can read the Full Article Time 2011 Person of the Year here.

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Will iPhone Join Occupy Wall Street?

I am afraid I don’t understand the whole “Occupy Wall Street” thing…

Someone help me out. What is it that [Occupy] people want?

I mean, I love the passion, but corporations play within a set of rules they are given (for the most part).

Apparently we don’t want corporations to make money, but we still want them to employ lots of people.

Got insight? Leave a comment below…

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Occupy Wall Street Breakfast? You Are Joking Right?

Godfadr Note: Would love to link directly to whomever created this illustration. Let us know!

What better way to celebrate the Occupy Wall Street movement than with a Pancake Social?

The Occupy Wall Street protesters are celebrating on Thursday to mark the start of the movement two months ago.

This week they are planning a “Shut Down Wall Street” breakfast?

Wow. Really?

I actually have to wonder what will be served.

Starbucks Coffee?
McDonald’s Egg McMuffins?
Maybe Einstein’s Bagels or Dunkin Donuts?

Maybe this will prompt the spark they need to…

a) Realize the irony of their movement and
b) Get a Life

As I write this I am watching the latest video released from CNN about the planned breakfast.

These misguided (or should I say “misdirected”) hard-core protestors lucky enough to be interviewed on camera were sporting such items as iPods, Blackberry’s, Laptops, Ray-Ban Sunglasses, GAP Sweatshirts, and lots of other creature comforts people built and sold to them.

Yea, F**K those damn corporations, the jobs they create, and all this really cool stuff I am not willing to give up for my cause.

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Really Big Savings At Amazon?

Ok, I just had to laugh. I mean really Amazon, is this the best you got?

If I lock in my pre-sale order now, I can save…ready for this…$.03.

Let me spell that out…three cents.

Wow, with that kind of savings I will be much closer to the Mars Bar I have my eye on.

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NBA Strike: Shut Up And Go Buy a Pretzel

I don’t watch basketball. It is not that I don’t like it, or have a problem with people that do. It is just that it is not my kind of sport.

It doesn’t change the fact I have an opinion about the whole NBA strike, but with a different focus.

As the players and owners whine about how many millions go here or there, thousands of arena employees and local businesses suffer – for some, unrecoverable.

No one cares about the single mom selling pretzels during the game. No one cares about the night janitor working a second job to put food on the table.

Have sports players and owners become so greedy that the fans and employees mean nothing? I think so.

It is not like, in this economy, the jobs are rolling in. I have a message for all the players…

“It is a GAME!”

Enjoy your time. Make some money playing a sport that millions of people watch.

Check your egos at the door and remember that others rely on your efforts in the smallest of ways.

People who will never afford one of your diamond earnings, jerseys, or cars.

You will recover the second you step back on the court. Some other people never will.

 

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