Are You a Real Football Fan or a Wannabe?

With football season now under full swing, I am reminded of a couple of observations from last year.

For starters, you are either a fan or not. Everyone else is a wannabe.

Here is how you can tell which you are (or more importantly, your friends?)…

If you wear the football jersey on the day of the game, you are, most likely, a fan.

If you wear the jersey the day after the game (and your team won the previous day), you are a wannabe.

If you wear the team jersey the day after the game (and your team lost the previous day) you are a fan.

Team coffee mug…fan.

Team sweater for your dog…wannabe.

Autographed picture of this year’s quarterback – suspect.

Autographed picture of a player that has not played for over 10 years – Fan.

Underwear with your team’s logo (professionally printed) – Fan

Underwear with hand drawn logo of your team – there is something wrong with you.

Any serving bowl or plate with your team’s logo – fan.

Bowl or plate stolen from your local bar – wannabe.

Go to the game with friends – Fan

Go to the game with your mother – Odd

Collect Franklin Mint Dinner Plates with your team’s Logo – You should be following NASCAR.

Did I miss anything?

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9/11, Quran Burning, and Do They Still Drown Witches?

First off, it is the anniversary of 9/11. A day every American will (or should) remember for a very long time. For a short time after 9/11 there was a sense of unity.

Remember all the American Flags that could be seen?

Remember the President in front of smoldering ashes with a bullhorn proclaiming our resilience?

Remember logging on to Google Maps to find Afghanistan and “meet” our new-to-us enemy (despite most of the hijackers were Saudi)?

What happened?

It didn’t take long for what we wanted to happen actually happen – we returned to our normal lives, not really learning from the experience.

The flags, for the most part, have disappeared. The “War on Terror” has become an annoyance for some that they only see as they channel surf their way to Reality Housewives or American Idol.

All that would be ok if we actually learned and grew as individuals and a country.

Years later we have the possibility of a mosque being built near ground zero and some idiot wanting to burn copies of the Quran to further his own agenda (despite endangering our troops). [That appears to be on hold as I write this]

I suppose if we are going to step back to book burning we should look into drowning witches, not allowing women to vote, and possibly, segregating schools.

But why stop there?

Let’s go back to outdoor plumbing, traveling by horseback (I realize some readers my enjoy that part), and picking our spouses by attacking a nearby village.

Never Forget 9/11 but more importantly never forget to learn from it.

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Tiger Announces Return to Sex, I mean Golf, I mean WTF?

Ok, I am still trying to figure out just what the heck Tiger’s press conference last Friday was actually about (or who it was really for).

I get it. The affairs are private. Between you, your wife, some dancers, couple of waitresses, your caddie, some stewardesses, and Hooters Stores #423 and #345.

So, why the press conference?

You didn’t announce a return to golf as speculated (to meet an entry deadline) and there was nothing new in the statement.

Perhaps it was just part of the therapy but…

You decided to announce it during a golf tournament (on final cut day I may add) AND in the middle of the Winter Olympics.

Seriously? Were you falling out of the limelight so much that you had to try and make everyone stop and look at you?

In my opinion Tiger was right in his first set of statements from behind closed doors. The affairs are private. They are for him and his family to deal with and I hope he gets his stuff together because he is a hell of an athlete.

Just don’t take away anything from the athletes that are still out there trying to do their jobs and fulfill their, in some cases, Olympic dreams.

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VP Debate Showdown: What to Watch For…

This will be the most watched VP debate in the history of television (no real point in going further back than that is there?!) and the government probably should have put the VP debate on Pay-Per-View and made a view bucks towards the bailout

So what exactly is at stake and what should we be watching for? 

Well, certainly the performance of Sarah Palin is at the top of the list. Many expect her to fall on her face but I think those same people forget she did get to be Governor and does have some debate experience. Sure she is a Saturday Night Live constant punch line and her recent interviews seem to show her yet to answer a question directly – the debate is a whole new ground.

Three big things will determine Palin’s performance…

One, can she hold a conversation with Biden that is not filled with quirky one-liners. This isn’t Last Comic Standing; this is the role of someone who could some day be President of the United States. Save the one-liners for Hockey Mom meetings.

Two, carefully handle the fact Biden has much more experience. McCain’s camp is trying to make Palin about “change” to combat Obama/Biden. Tough to do when McCain himself is not really about change to that degree. Any slam about Biden’s age comes back to McCain. She needs to stay out this area.

Lastly, is Palin over coached? No doubt Palin has been locked in a room with flash cards and Government 101 books. Now she needs to speak as herself and not try and regurgitate the words of others – Good luck.

Biden needs to tread lightly…

Senator Joe Biden on the other hand can occasionally get caught up in emotion and go “off the reservation.” Palin will be watching for this misstep and jump on any opportunity.

Joe Biden also has a tightrope to walk. As much as everyone wonders if Palin is being treated fairly as a women, Biden will have to debate her. Push too hard and you will come off overpowering (or disrespecting) to the women viewers. Don’t push hard enough and you will come off weak to those watching that are on the fence.

For the most part Biden just needs to not underestimate Palin. She is a skilled debater. It by no means makes her more qualified, just great at debating. Palin has five debates under her belt and is undefeated. Biden needs to stick to the issues.

Both have to work the fine line between debating each other and defending the positions of their running mates. That said, votes are usually decided at the top of the ticket – the VP debate helps solidify those votes. Given the latest polls, Biden just needs to hold ground; Plain needs a home run to help McCain.

Forget about Ifill…

The other issue to come on the table is the fact that the moderator, PBS’s Gwen Ifill, came under fire since she is releasing a book post election entitled “Breakthrough: Politics and Race in the Age of Obama.”

Some conservatives suggest she will be biased during the debate. Frankly, I looked into her background and her career spans decades. She moderated the 2004 Vice Presidential Debate. Her colleagues (liberals and conservatives alike) find her professional. As far as I am concerned, this is a non-issue.

The showdown is tonight at Washington University (St. Louis). I still think they should have put it on Pay-Per-View. 

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The “Universe” and “We Feel Fine Programs”…

In going through some old blogs I was amazed that I somehow forgot to share this video. It is a video speech of Jonathan Harris. Jonathan writes interesting programs that search the Internet for glimpses of the human condition. [Read more...]

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How to Write Fake Emails…Then Vote.

I feel sorry for future voters. How will they possibly know what is factual and what is not? At least when you knew nothing about either candidate, you had a 50/50 chance of picking the right one (assuming their is a right one). 

I will be glad when November passes and I don’t have to keep seeing emails that are grossly inaccurate but people still believe them. Some of them keep getting used campaign after campaign – just change the names! 

The tactic is brilliant of course. Put out fake information. Anything you want. Obama wants to raise all taxes. McCain wants all gays sent to an island. Palin shoots puppies in her spare time. Biden is hooked on crack. 

Whatever you say is ok becuase you only need to do three things to make it “real.”

1. Throw around statistics. The more the better. Say something like Obama wants to raise taxes 43.7% or McCain is ok with 27% more lives lost in Iraq. People believe statistics (they sound impressive) and who is really going to go check them out? 

2. Make the email “from” someone. You can pick a real person but they usually come back at some point and deny what was said (since they never said it anyway). The person in your email doesn’t need to exist, make one up if you need to. Military people are always good. A close “friend” or “neighbor” also works well. 

3. Say the “facts” have already been verified. Throw out some fake links (no one will really click on them anyway) or just say “I verified this on Snopes.com.” Well, if it says it was verified…then it must be! 

Do those three things and you have successfully reduced seemingly educated people to uneducated voters. Like I said, you were better off when you didn’t know anything…you had a 50/50 shot.

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Yes Palin’s Daughter is Pregnant…Can We Move On Now?

First off, it is not rumor. Sarah Palin’s 17-year-old unmarried daughter (Bristol) is pregnant. 

McCain insists he knew about this when he chose her for the VP spot in his campaign (I still wonder about that part). And, unless it was some bazaar sequel to Juno, the entire Palin family has been well aware of the situation. 

Of course several groups (no, not just Democrats) are all over this suggesting she is no longer a good choice for VP. 

Come on guys, you mean to tell me our individual character and work ethics will always be defined by our kids? If that is the case, we will never be able to elect a qualified person to office. What if your grandson is gay? What if you paper boy stole a cookie? What if your neighbor three doors down read an issue of Playboy? Where would the “association” end? 

The opposition is always looking for reasons to attack the other party. In this case Sarah Palin’s daughter is now on the table. To Obama’s credit, he has stated that “family” is off-limits in the campaigns and will have no part in attacks on Palin’s character as a result of her daughter. But it seems to end at Obama as many religious groups are already in a voting quandary. 

I say move on. Palin’s daughter is pregnant and it will be an issue for the family to deal with. I seriously doubt it will affect Sarah Palin’s ability to perform her duties. As always, let the candidates stand on their own merit. 

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