Think just because you are poor or middle class you can’t pocket millions of dollars in tax savings like Mitt Romney?
Guess again. There are millions of creative ways the average person can cash in.
Here is an easy way to keep a couple extra million in your pocket.
- Sell everything of value you own.
- Take your $5.45 to the local park or freeway underpass.
- Find a blind person (or at least one visually impaired enough to require a cane or seeing eye dog).
- Hire that person to create you blind trust (assuming you trust them of course).
- Give the person $1.00 and tell them that it is $100 (you will be expecting change).
- Go to Wal-Mart with the remaining $4.45
- Buy 10 apples for $2.50 – then immediately go the parking lot and sell all 10 apples for $2.00 (clearly you will need to make it up in volume).
- Collect the balance due from the blind guy (this will be interest income).
- Declare loss on the apple sale (est. $235,000 profit you would have made had you knew how the hell to run a business).
10. Fire the blind guy and collect the unemployment for him.
11. Re-invest the unemployment benefits in the company.
Here is where the real cash comes in…
12. In the spring, buy Girl Scout Cookies.
13. Sell the cookies in the winter (don’t worry, they will keep).
14. In the winter buy McDonald’s McRib sandwiches.
15. In the spring, sell the McRib sandwiches (don’t worry, they will keep).
16. Hire back the blind guy.
17. Run for some sort of political office.
18. Get millions donated to help you (off the books of course).
19. Retire
There, now that wasn’t that hard was it?
*Course this has nothing to do with how Romney actually made money. I am pretty sure that there were no blind guys harmed and no apples. Course I can’t really speak for the McRib sandwich part – that is a gold mine!
Fine, I suppose this is where you look for some witty insights to my mind. A "bio" of sorts. Here is the deal... I ride motorcycles, smoke cigars, golf, kayak, fly, race my car through the mountains, write (a lot), and travel extensively. I am almost old enough not to care what other people think about me...almost. ~Godfadr
Top Ten Tebow Comments from Jesus
IF Jesus was to speak with Tebow the next day after the playoff loss, here are my top ten things I think he might say…
10. Stepped out for a couple days, did I miss anything?
9. What? The game was on Sunday? My bad.
8. Ooops, Saturday night I was watching FireFly reruns. Man they cancelled that show too soon.
7. Dang, I wasted the entire second half waiting in line for a pretzel.
6. Dude, I thought you had this covered!
5. WTF? Like home field advantage would have made a difference?
4. Seriously, the next thing you will want me to do is actually play for you.
3. Sheesh, it was a loss, don’t go all Charlie Sheen on me.
2. Sorry man, I am a Packer Fan.
1. Really Tebow, did you not think I had something better to do?
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