It has been ten years since Crocs™ launched its campaign to see if people would wear hideous looking footwear and therefor simultaneously lessen their chance to ever have sex.
“Croc-Blocked” – Mission Accomplished
The survey completed on May 10th, 2012 (Crocs ten-year anniversary) revealed the staggering statistics in which men are getting Croc-blocked by the “chunk-of-foam” shoes.
Men wearing Crocs AND having sex*….
Men age 6-12 (0%)
Men age 13- 17 – with partner (1.3%)
Men age 13 – 17 – without partner (89.5%)
Men age 18-99 (.3%)
*There was not a direct correlation between women wearing Crocs™ and getting to have sex. It seems women could wear shoes made out of sewer mud and still get laid should they so choose to.
Professor Talbot Merchant said it illustrates the destructive tendencies of the male species…
“Clearly men have the ability to slow down the population expansion by the fashion choices they make.
By choosing to wear Crocs™, the male has an almost impossible chance of having sex – unless of course they are at a comic book convention which appears to tip the scales in their favor.”
The survey should be a wake up call to men all around the world.
Getting Croc-Blocked is a real problem and clinics are opening up all around the world to help treat these unfortunate misinformed trendsetters.
Final Note: Women were not surprised by the study results. Most commented by saying, “duh.”
Real Final Note: If for some reason you thought this report was real in any way shape or form, take off your shoes and seek help. I made it up for my enjoyment and the enjoyment of the six people I know that don’t own a pair of these shoes.
Fine, I suppose this is where you look for some witty insights to my mind. A "bio" of sorts. Here is the deal... I ride motorcycles, smoke cigars, golf, kayak, fly, race my car through the mountains, write (a lot), and travel extensively. I am almost old enough not to care what other people think about me...almost. ~Godfadr
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