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Do It Yourself Dental?

February 26, 2010 By Godfadr 2 Comments

Disclaimer: First off, I am not a Dentist and I have never played one on TV (or any movies for that matter). So my dental skills are limited to listening to my ipod while someone cleans my teeth and talks incessantly about Matt Lauer.

I do have a Facebook account and I am trying to understand the method of which I am targeted by advertisers. Most are pretty harmless but this one kind of threw me off, but then again, I am also intrigued.

Should I currently be a dentist or is this my opportunity to offer theslowbleed readers some supplemental dental coverage courtesy of yours truly?

I do have some space in the basement and I do have something that could work as a dental chair.

I am not sure what to do about anesthesia.

I have gasoline for the lawn mower and some hydrogen peroxide – just not sure if they would work or if there is a “safe” mixture I should adhere to. Perhaps the Dental Implant course comes with a quick course on anesthesia?

Ok, I am game. Who is up first?

UPDATE 2/28/10: OK, now the advertisements are getting even creepier.


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Filed Under Humor, Rants Tagged With DIY Dental, Do it yourself dental, Odd Facebook advertisements

Best Albert Einstein Quote

February 25, 2010 By Godfadr 1 Comment

“We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”

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Filed Under Inspirational Tagged With Best Albert Einstein Quote, Einstein Quote, We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them

TIGER versus PETA Billboard Advertisement

February 25, 2010 By Godfadr Leave a Comment

What happened to the good old days when PETA members would just grab a bucket of red paint and throw it on some 90-year-old women wearing a fur jacket at the ballet?

I guess red paint is hard to find now and no one is going to the ballet. Time to change the game plan…

PETA – the defender of, among other things,  “spay your cats and neuter your dogs,” is going after the big cat himself; Tiger Woods.

Putting aside the fact that I just beat up Tiger the other day for his press conference, this really is over the top on PETA’s part. What amazes me the most is PETA’s thinking that Tiger will think it is all in good fun?

Seriously? You think when Tiger drives outside his home and sees this billboard he will just start laughing at the whole thing?

He will probably find the “big tiger” “little tiger” part really amusing. So much so in fact he will probably pull over, take a picture of it with his camera phone, and email it to all his friends.

I suspect (or maybe secretly hope) that this really ends up being a hoax. If not, then all I can say is,  “Really PETA, just go to the paint store already and leave Tiger, and his family, alone.”

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Filed Under Humor, Rants Tagged With Peta billboard, PETA Tiger Billboard, Tiger and Peta, Tiger versus PETA

Planet Screwed Up: Memo Proves Aliens No Longer Interested.

February 24, 2010 By Godfadr 2 Comments

You ever wondered why there are no more alien abductions or UFO sightings? In the 60’s and 70’s you couldn’t turn around without a new story of someone lucky enough to have a camera on hand to spot the extraterrestrial visitor.

Not only were aliens the subject of every other B movie, “real” people were getting plucked out of their homes and flown up to the mother ship for “observation” on a daily basis.

Now that every technological device has a camera built in and we have more media magazines available at grocery store checkouts to print stories; where are the aliens?

The fact of the matter is back in 1992 they issued a confidential “For Your Eye Only” inter-galactic memo that has recently fallen into our hands at theslowbleed.com.

After painstaking work (and a sleeve of Thin Mints) here is the translation…

Star date 28.219.0 [November 1992]

Attention Galaxy,

We are officially ending our 1200-year evaluation of planet UHLU83 [Earth]. Frankly, the planet is pretty screwed up.

That is all,

Department of Observations and Acquisitions.

P.S. Kurt Cobain married Courtney Love – this won’t end well.

Fortunately for us, celebrities with low morals and politicians that are clueless are able to fill the magazines for now.

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Filed Under Humor Tagged With Aliens No Longer Interested, Aliens not interested in Earth, Are there Aliens?, Intergalactic Memo, UFO Sightings

Tiger Announces Return to Sex, I mean Golf, I mean WTF?

February 23, 2010 By Godfadr 1 Comment

Ok, I am still trying to figure out just what the heck Tiger’s press conference last Friday was actually about (or who it was really for).

I get it. The affairs are private. Between you, your wife, some dancers, couple of waitresses, your caddie, some stewardesses, and Hooters Stores #423 and #345.

So, why the press conference?

You didn’t announce a return to golf as speculated (to meet an entry deadline) and there was nothing new in the statement.

Perhaps it was just part of the therapy but…

You decided to announce it during a golf tournament (on final cut day I may add) AND in the middle of the Winter Olympics.

Seriously? Were you falling out of the limelight so much that you had to try and make everyone stop and look at you?

In my opinion Tiger was right in his first set of statements from behind closed doors. The affairs are private. They are for him and his family to deal with and I hope he gets his stuff together because he is a hell of an athlete.

Just don’t take away anything from the athletes that are still out there trying to do their jobs and fulfill their, in some cases, Olympic dreams.

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Filed Under Pride, Rants Tagged With Tiger Woods Press Conference, Tiger Woods Returns to Golf, Tiger Woods Returns to Sex

Hot Dogs May Kill: Kids Need to Be Warned?

February 22, 2010 By Godfadr Leave a Comment

Ah the never-ending pursuit of sticking warning labels on anything and everything. This time it will be for kids…well, sort of.

The American Academy of Pediatrics agreed that there are not near enough warning labels on some popular food products. For example, Hot Dogs do not carry a choking hazard warning.

Seriously? Do we need warnings on everything or is there a point that “thinning out the herd” might be a good thing? – I mean we are really only as strong as our weakest link.

A couple kids die each year eating hot dogs. In some cases the parents are shocked to discover that hot dogs could be so dangerous.

Not to take anything away from the tragedy, but….

For starters, Skippy the 3-year-old wasn’t going to “read” the label in the first place. Secondly, you can choke on ANYTHING. I mean you can choke on Jell-O if you are jamming enough of it down your throat – so why are people so surprised?

Here is the deal…

Warning labels should be reserved for things that you had no way of knowing…not common sense items.

For instance, if you go on a blind date, there should be a warning label if the person has stalking tendencies or is excessively needy (some things you just don’t find out until it is too late). OR

If you are going to pet a bunny and it is really a man-eating-tiger dressed in bunny suit – there should be a warning label for that. OR

If you are buying a deep fried burger with extra mayo and it is really being made with healthy soy products, there should be a label for that.

Other than that, let’s let the gene pool’s natural abilities dictate the future of our humanity.

Feel free to make up your own “warnings” below. Sheesh, I hate warning labels almost more than I hate asterisks*.

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Filed Under Humor Tagged With Hot Dogs May Kill: Kids Need to Be Warned?, too many warning labels, Warning labels

‘Smarter’ People Take Naps

February 21, 2010 By Godfadr 4 Comments

I have said it all along (April 2009). I am way smarter than the rest of the world when I wake up from a nap – and now I can prove it!

The latest study from UC Berkeley suggests the brain may need sleep to process short-term memories. Thus “creating space” for us to learn new things (kind of the Far Side equivalent to “my brain is full”*).

Ok, let’s hear it from the scientist…

“Sleep not only rights the wrong of prolonged wakefulness, but, at a neurocognitive level, it moves you beyond where you were before you took a nap” – Dr. Matthew Walker, UC Berkeley

I have always liked Berkeley and I figure this Dr. Walker guy must be a great napper. I mean he is really smart.

He talks about things like “Stage 2 non-rapid eye movement” and “temporary storage” – heck I am getting sleepy just typing his stuff.

Special Bonus: Here is the Far Side cartoon I mentioned. Click on the cartoon to go to Gary Larson’s site and go buy something. While you are doing that…I am going to go take a nap.

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Filed Under Culture, Humor Tagged With Are naps good?, Dr. Matthew Walker, Nap Study, Take a nap, ‘Smarter’ People Take Naps
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