How to Write Fake Emails…Then Vote.
September 5, 2008 by Godfather
I feel sorry for future voters. How will they possibly know what is factual and what is not? At least when you knew nothing about either candidate, you had a 50/50 chance of picking the right one (assuming their is a right one).
I will be glad when November passes and I don’t have to keep seeing emails that are grossly inaccurate but people still believe them. Some of them keep getting used campaign after campaign - just change the names!
The tactic is brilliant of course. Put out fake information. Anything you want. Obama wants to raise all taxes. McCain wants all gays sent to an island. Palin shoots puppies in her spare time. Biden is hooked on crack.
Whatever you say is ok becuase you only need to do three things to make it “real.”
1. Throw around statistics. The more the better. Say something like Obama wants to raise taxes 43.7% or McCain is ok with 27% more lives lost in Iraq. People believe statistics (they sound impressive) and who is really going to go check them out?
2. Make the email “from” someone. You can pick a real person but they usually come back at some point and deny what was said (since they never said it anyway). The person in your email doesn’t need to exist, make one up if you need to. Military people are always good. A close “friend” or “neighbor” also works well.
3. Say the “facts” have already been verified. Throw out some fake links (no one will really click on them anyway) or just say “I verified this on Snopes.com.” Well, if it says it was verified…then it must be!
Do those three things and you have successfully reduced seemingly educated people to uneducated voters. Like I said, you were better off when you didn’t know anything…you had a 50/50 shot.
George Greenspan, the long lost brother of Alan Greenspan, has read this post and determined it to be 38.6% untruth. Of the remaining 71.4%, 54.9 percent has been verified to be what are known as half-truths.
In addition The Godfather is not his real name. OHHHH there I said it. Let the conspiracies begin.
There is a 23.9% chance that Godfather is the real name.
1. Wendy Collins of Wells, NV reports that she lived next door to the Godfather and remembers him fondly (and that he treated animals well).
2. Lt. Jacob Turnin (Ret.) remembers serving with him on classified Ops missions.
3. Chris “Petty” Milford delivered his paper (and bill - in the Godfather name).
Conspiracies???? What conspiracies….everyone already knows that the Godfather is really Harland Sanders IV….chicken killing heir to the Colonel Sander’s creation of KFC!!! In addition to blatant chicken killing, clearly inhumane, he is against hamster powered energy in Lichtenstein!
Lt. Turnin (ret.) was his CIA code name for black ops into Canada to steal their syrup supplies, stick it into a secret warehouse in Vermont, and claim we have the best Aunt Jemima Syrup in North America!
Syrup reserves are at a critical low. Concessions needed to be made. Civilians can’t handle the truth about the “state of condiments” in today’s global enviornement.
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