Hold Your Breath for 20 Minutes?

March 14, 2010 By Godfather Leave a Comment

I thought I could hold my breath under water for a long time. Apparently I am nothing compared to Peter Colat.

Colat just broke the world record for holding his breath under water. His time? 19 minutes and 21 seconds.

That means if Colat recorded any 30-minute show on television he could watch it on DVR (without commercials) in one breath.

Colat said that “felt the need to breath around the 12 minute mark.”

Wow. Really? I thought there would be more to it.

I decided to research what it takes to be a professional hold-your-breath athlete. Here is what I found…

  1. Practice Holding Breath.
  2. Lose Weight
  3. Stop Smoking
  4. Splash Cold Water on Your Face
  5. Eat a Healthy Diet
  6. Only breath in 85% of Capacity
  7. Practice with a Partner
  8. Exhale Slowly
  9. Repeat 3-4 times

I’m Out…maybe they have a professional guy-who-runs-the-stopwatch-for-other-guys athlete?

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Filed Under Humor, Inspirational Tagged With Hold Your Breath for 20 Minutes?, How long can you hold your breath?, Peter Colat, Underwater Record Broken

Just another BS Story by The Onion

March 13, 2010 By Godfather 2 Comments

As reported by The Onion. – Could not have put it better myself…


Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere

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Filed Under Humor Tagged With Bull Shit News Cast, Fake News, The Onion, Video by The Onion

Giving Banks the “Bird.”

March 12, 2010 By Godfather Leave a Comment

Chock this up to the too unbelievable to be true category. Bank America is being sued for seizing a parrot.

If seems an employee contractor was sent to the wrong property when it believed the owner of the property was in default on her mortgage.

The women was not home at the time, but the contractor changed the locks, cut the water pipes and electricity, poured anti-freeze into the sinks and toilets.

If that was not enough, the contractor took Luke, her blue macaw.

When the women contacted B of A, she was told the company had zero tolerance for that kind of error; but the women still had to drive 80 miles to recover her parrot.

She is suing B of A for $50,000 in damages.

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Filed Under Economy, Rants Tagged With Bank Contractor Takes Parrot, Bank of America sued for seizing parrot, Giving Banks the “Bird.”

Where is my Ferrari and Job in Hawaii?

March 11, 2010 By Godfather 1 Comment

I found a journal the other day. Mostly pointless ramblings by a much younger version of me, but there were certainly some clear “items” that I should have experienced by now.

For starters, I was supposed to be enjoying a lucrative private detective career on Oahu Island; driving around a Ferrari and living life with my friend who flies helicopters for a living.

Clearly that one did not pan out somehow.

My second career was as a Hollywood stunt man by day and bounty hunter by night.

Never happened.

Matter of fact, I never owned a black Pontiac Trans Am that spoke to me, never captured bad guys on the streets of NY, never solved medical dilemmas in under an hour, and I never battled siblings over the direction and control of my family empire.

Man, have I got some catching up to do. Anybody else missing something?

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Filed Under Humor, Rants Tagged With Humor, Mid Life Crisis?, Television Shows Growing Up, Where is my Ferrari and Job in Hawaii?

Happy Anniversary DotCom Bubble Burst!

March 10, 2010 By Godfather Leave a Comment

Not that the headline gives it away, but today marks the 10-year anniversary of the DotCom bust. So who were my favorites and how much cash did they burn through?

Flooz.com – Pushed by Whoopi Goldberg, it was meant as an online currency to replace credit cards. The Loss? $35 Million (not counting late fees).

Boo.com – Online fashion at its finest. Too bad most people were still on dial-up and you could knit a sweater faster than your computer would show you one. The cost? A cool $165 Million.

MVP.com – Full of big name endorsements like Michael Jordan and Wayne Gretzky; nobody still has a clue what the heck there where suppose to be offering – not that it didn’t stop them from blowing through $65 million.

Go.com – Disney’s attempt to take on Yahoo. This Mickey Mouse operation lost about $790 Million.

Pets.com – The $82.5 Million Dollar Sock Puppet. Need I say more?

Kibu.com – Lasting a record 45 days, it targeted teenage girls forgetting the fact they didn’t really have any money. The $22 Million could have been used for a really great trip to the Mall.

Got any favorites of your own? The above ones are real, but feel free to make up your own (never let the truth get in the way of a good story).

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Filed Under Rants Tagged With boo.com, Dotcom bust, Dotcom companies, Failed internet companies, flooz.com, Happy Anniversary DotCom Bubble Burst!, Rants

Handsome Man’s Club

March 9, 2010 By Godfather 1 Comment

As I searched for something to write about this morning, most of the news was fairly depressing – just not how I want to move forward on this blog (or my week for that matter).

I came across Jimmy Kimmel’s Handsome Men’s Club video (thanks Claire). Other than being a cameo appearance extravaganza, it is really funny. Enjoy!

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Filed Under Humor Tagged With Handsome Man's Club, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Jimmy Kimmel Men's Club

What Really Killed the Dinosaurs?

March 8, 2010 By Godfather 1 Comment

To (finally) end the long-time debate, scientists meeting this month have agreed on what killed the dinosaurs. Before agreeing on the evidence, the scientific community was split between seven sound theories…

• Smoking
• Any Film with Paris Hilton
• Natural Tofu
• Hostess Snowballs
• Meteor Collision
• Cheese from a Can
• Silly String in Eyes

In the end, scientist agreed the “Meteor Collision” had the soundest evidence; sighting the massive asteroid or comet smashing into Earth at Chicxulub on Mexico’s Yucatan Peninsula.

The decision to back the comet theory was not unanimous.

Both Darrel Milski and Buck Jopinvich, students from University of Wisconsin, stuck by their claim that “cheese from a can” was the ultimate death of the dominating beasts.

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Filed Under Humor Tagged With Comet Killed Dinosaurs, Meteor at Chiculub, Meteor in Mexico, Other Dinosaur theories, What Really Killed the Dinosaurs?
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